Money and Me Assembly description Cast of 30 – easily adaptable up or down Duration – around 20 minutes including music suggestions and performance. Hand on heart, I had thought an assembly on money would be a bit dry. But when the songs started coming, my main challenge was to keep the playlist in check – take a look! Music Living in a Material World – George Harrison Money Money Money – Abba Material Girl – Madonna Money – Pink Floyd Fashion – David Bowie Money Makes the World Go Round – Liza Minelli (Cabaret) Jesse J – Price Tag ft B.O.B Money for Nothing – Dire Straits With this kind of music and the opportunities each song presents for performance, how could you go wrong?! The script does cover serious subjects - such as our obsession with shopping (!) and touches on the growing width of our rich/poor divide. But the main focus is on achieving a balanced world where we all recognise what we need as opposed to just what we want. Yes, we should be aware of the importance of money (quick nod to bank manager in the cast). But do we really want a world driven by consumerism and material temptations all too readily supplied by advertising? I think we will all agree the answer is no – though our cast did take a bit of persuading at the beginning! Enjoy! Sample Text Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Music 2 Money Money Money – Abba (Whole cast stands to sing - just the chorus) (‘Rich lady’ in furs and jewels parades up and down) Narrator: (Holding up hand) I see! So, is that what you all think? Speaker 1: Think? What do you mean? Narrator: Well, do you all believe, and I quote “It’s a rich man’s world”? Speaker 2: (Sighing) If I had a little money … Speaker 3: (Sighing) All the things I could do … Narrator: Oh really? And what would you do? Speaker 4: What would I not do? Speaker 5: I’d ride a fancy car! Speaker 6: I’d live in a huge mansion in Beverley Hills! Speaker 7: I’d have my own swimming pool! Speaker 8: I’d have servants to wait on me! Speaker 9: I’d go watch Man United every week! Speaker 10: I’d go shopping along Oxford Street every week! Speaker 11: I’d go on holiday to far off exotic places! Speaker 12: I’d Narrator: (Interrupting) Enough! Enough! (Sighing) Why did I ever ask? Speaker 12: But you didn’t give me a chance to say what I would do! Narrator: Oh, let me guess. Cover yourself in jewels, gold and silver? Speaker 12: Ugh! Gross! Why would I want to do that? Narrator: Well I can think of some who might! Music 3 Material Girl – Madonna (first verse and chorus) (Madonna character performing surrounded by suitors) Narrator: (Smugly) There you go! Speaker 12: (Indignantly) What do you mean, there you go? We’re not all driven by materialism!

Back to School Be Inspired Class Play or Assembly Since releasing this originally as a New Year Script I have ‘tweaked’ it to produce this script – a celebration of the beginning of the academic year. There are now three versions of the script available • Be Inspired New Year Assembly (the original script) • Be Inspired Assembly (for any time of the year) • Back to School Be Inspired Assembly (beginning of the school year) Cast Size 30 – but this number can easily be adapted up or down. Duration Around 20 minutes. The performance can be extended by the addition of more jokes and poetry. Sample Text Music I – I’m So Excited – Pointer Sisters (Whole cast ‘dances’ in, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: (To cast) Welcome back! Another school year! Are we all feeling inspired, that is the question? (Everyone cheers) Narrator: Now, that’s how I like to start an assembly! Lots of enthusiasm, zest, passion Child 1: Yes, yes, we get all that! But where are we going with all this good feeling? Narrator: Well, I’m kind of hoping its going to last (pauses) at least until …tomorrow? Child 2: (Shaking head) Ooh, I wouldn’t count on it. I mean, a lot can happen in a day! Narrator: I know it’s a lot to ask but, well, it’s good to have things to aspire to – however long for! As to how we’re going to achieve such a goal Child 3: (Interrupting) Oh, that’s simple. We just have to get inspired! Child 4: We’ve been doing some research and we’ve come up with some pretty inspirational stuff! Narrator: (Clapping hands) Excellent! Then, take it away! Child 5: So, it’s all about behaving in the right way every day of our lives. Narrator: (Aside to audience, incredulously) Every day? Seriously? That would have to be seen to be believed! Child 6: I know. It seems like a tall order. So we thought we’d start with just one month! Maybe this one! You have to start somewhere! Narrator: You mean, you have actually managed to find ‘inspiration’ for every day of the month, for each of the thirty days? Child 7: Correct. Starting with the Day One. Here comes the first of the many inspirational quotations we found. Narrator: Let’s hear it! Child 7: ‘Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking’ – that was written by a J.C. Watts . Narrator: Fine words especially as I think most of us would want to receive praise or maybe reward. Child 7: Which is why not looking for praise or reward is all the more impressive. Child 8: (Grunting) I’ll try and remember that next time I do something amazing and nobody notices! Child 7: But you’ll know and that should be enough! Child 8: You’re right. It shouldn’t be about looking to others for praise. I’ll pat my own back from now on! Narrator: (Applauding) Very good! Next! Child 9: Day Two ‘A life making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing at all’ – that’s from St. Patrick.

Be Inspired Class Play or Assembly Since releasing this originally as a New Year Script I have ‘tweaked’ it to produce another script so that it can be used any time of the year – not just in January. This made more sense to me as we all need inspiration all of the time – not just once a year; and other times, such as the beginning of the academic year in September are just as important. This could thus be used as a Back to School script; and so there are now three versions of the script: • Be Inspired New Year Assembly (the original script) • Be Inspired Assembly • Back to School Be Inspired Assembly Cast Size 30 – but this number can easily be adapted up or down. Duration Around 20 minutes. The performance can be extended by the addition of more jokes and poetry. Sample Text: Music I – I’m So Excited – Pointer Sisters (Whole cast ‘dances’ in, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: (To cast) Are we all feeling inspired, that is the question? (Everyone cheers) Narrator: Now, that’s how I like to start an assembly! Lots of enthusiasm, zest, passion Child 1: Yes, yes, we get all that! But where are we going with all this good feeling? Narrator: Well, I’m kind of hoping its going to last (pauses) at least until …tomorrow? Child 2: (Shaking head) Ooh, I wouldn’t count on it. I mean, a lot can happen in a day! Narrator: I know it’s a lot to ask but, well, it’s good to have things to aspire to – however long for! As to how we’re going to achieve such a goal Child 3: (Interrupting) Oh, that’s simple. We just have to get inspired! Child 4: We’ve been doing some research and we’ve come up with some pretty inspirational stuff! Narrator: (Clapping hands) Excellent! Then, take it away! Child 5: So, it’s all about behaving in the right way every day of our lives. Narrator: (Aside to audience, incredulously) Every day? Seriously? That would have to be seen to be believed! Child 6: I know. It seems like a tall order. So we thought we’d start with just one month! Maybe this one! You have to start somewhere!

Refugee Class Play or Assembly Description Refugee Week 15 – 21st June Cast of 30 Speakers including Narrator. This number can obviously be adjusted according to class size. Duration: Around 5 - 10 minutes reading time This script was prompted by a single thought. It’s one thing dealing with the current Coronavirus pandemic when you can retreat to the safety of your home but imagine not having a home to retreat to, in the current circumstances? This is does not provide coverage of the refugee global situation. That would require an in-depth knowledge of the various wars that have given rise to displacements of population – both internally and beyond country borders. But it is intended as maybe a starting point for further discussion and research.

Be Inspired New Year Class Play or Assembly Cast Size 30 – but this number can easily be adapted up or down. Duration Around 20 minutes. The performance can be extended by the addition of more jokes and poetry. Do you feel the need for a large dose of inspiration in order to start 2020? Look no further, here’s the script for you! A whole month’s worth of quotations that will give your students plenty to aspire to! Sample Text: Music I – I’m So Excited – Pointer Sisters (Whole cast ‘dances’ in, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: (To cast) Are we all feeling inspired, that is the question? (Everyone cheers) Narrator: Now, that’s how I like to start an assembly! Lots of enthusiasm, zest, passion Child 1: Yes, yes, we get all that! But where are we going with all this good feeling? Narrator: Well, I’m kind of hoping it’s going to last (pauses) at least until the end of January! Child 2: (Shaking head) Ooh, I wouldn’t count on it. I mean, that’s thirty-one days you’re talking about! Narrator: I know it’s a lot to ask but, well, it’s good to have things to aspire to along the way! As to how we’re going to achieve such a long-term goal Child 3: (Interrupting) Oh, that’s simple. We just have to get inspired! Child 4: We’ve been doing some research and we’ve come up with some pretty inspirational stuff! Narrator: (Clapping hands) Excellent! Then, take it away! Child 5: So, it’s all about behaving in the right way. Narrator: (Aside to audience, incredulously) Every day through January? Seriously? That would have to be seen to be believed! Child 6: We have actually managed to find ‘inspiration’ for every day of the month, for each of the thirty-one days, starting with Child 7: January 1st. Here comes the first of the many inspirational quotations we found.

Rugby World Cup 2019 Assembly Cast of 13, duration around 20 minutes – depending on how many hakas you can fit in! This is an attempt to enlighten those who find rugby a bit of an intellectual challenge! Using a similar format to that used for recent Cricket Assembly, this likewise uses an A-Z of terminology to try and throw some light on the game and how it works! Sample Text: Narrator: Fab! So, let’s just have a few basics of the game. Child 15: There are fifteen players in each team Child 16: And the idea is to score as many points as possible! Child 17: By touching the ball down behind your opponent’s ‘try line’. You get five points for that Child 18: Or kicking it through and over the goalposts. You get two points if it’s a conversion or three if it’s a penalty. Narrator: It’s getting more complicated than football already! Child 19: Oh, way more! Though in rugby you can run with the ball in your hands Child 20: And give bear hugs to your opponents! Child 21: Though you’d hardly call them friendly bear hugs! Child 22: Not when you’re dragging them to the ground! Narrator: I certainly wouldn’t want to be under any of those guys! They’re hardly lightweights! Child 23: And they certainly have plenty of attitude! Child 24: There are various types of tackle – spear, crash and choke to name but three! Child 25: And then there’s the hospital pass Narrator: (Interrupting) This is all beginning to sound a bit dangerous! Please tell me there are plenty of rules! Child 26: Most certainly! If there weren’t, they’d be no players left standing! Child 27: These guys are super fit but the referee is there to keep them safe Child 28: So, no high tackles – that is above chest level when there’s clear contact to the neck and head. Child 29: A definite no no! Child 30: A red card offence! Narrator: So, how about a simple A-Z of rugby like we agreed?

Colour Assembly for Key Stage One (5 – 7-year olds) Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down). Duration 5 – 10 minutes. This assembly or class play is intended as a brief introduction to colour. As well as listing the primary and secondary colours it looks at feelings and images associated with colour, plus a touch of stereotyping (blues and pinks) – thankfully blown away by Elmer appearance! Sample Text: Narrator: (Applauding whole cast) Very good! (Pauses) And isn’t it funny how sometimes colours can make us experience different feelings. (To Child 17) You said how red made you feel hot. I wonder if we can do the same exercise again but think of how the colour makes us feel. Let’s start with red again! Child 1: Angry! Child 2: I see red! Grrrr! Narrator: Orange! Child 3: it’s a nice bright colour so it makes me happy! Narrator: Yellow! Child 4: (Running on the spot) Lots of energy! Narrator: (Thoughtfully) Hmm. That’s a positive spin on the word. But have you heard the expression ‘cowardly custard’? Sometimes yellow can be used in quite a mean way. Child 5: I think of buttercups! (Takes one out of pocket and holds it under chin) Can you see if I like butter or not? (Narrator walks over to have a look) Narrator: It seems you do! A definite yellow glow on your chin! (Pauses) Now, where were we? Ah yes, green! Child 6: You can feel green with envy! Narrator: Indeed you can! (Pauses) And blue? Child 7: Brrrr! It’s suddenly feeling a bit cold around here!

Cricket Class Play or Assembly (‘nod’ to World Cup) Anyone for Cricket? This class play or assembly, cast of 30, is approximately 20 minutes long and should be performed if only for that wonderful track by 10 CC – Dreadlock Holiday! (Who doesn’t know classic line ‘I don’t like Cricket,… oh no… I love it!?) Apart from giving an outline of the game, and some of its past heroes, there is an exploration of cricket terminology – an A to Z of surely some of the wackiest jargon in or out of the sporting world! For sports and non-sports folk alike – Enjoy! Sample Text Narrator: Ah! Our final innings of the day! Player 1: We’ll be sure to make this a fine pongo! (All Players raise their bats in triumph) Narrator: Pongo meaning a high score! Player 1: Correct. Lots of runs! Umpire 1: (Standing) But we’ll be keeping an eye on the quota. Umpire 2: (Standing) That’s the total number of overs (maximum ten) given to a bowler Umpire 1: Typically, the total overs in the innings Umpire 2: Divided by five, Umpire 1: And then rounded to the next highest whole number. Narrator: (Clutching his head) Well, I’ll most certainly leave the maths to you! (Both Umpires sit down, smiling) Player 2: Rabbit! Narrator: I beg your pardon! Player 2: That’s what a rubbish batsman is called! (All Players shake their heads, in disgust) Narrator: Ooh. That’s not nice! I mean, no offence to bunnies but Player 3: (Interrupting) Rain delay! (All Players groan) Player 3: Nothing more frustrating when you want to get on with the game! Player 4: Red cherry. Spectator 5: That’s the nickname for the red cricket ball! Player 4: Correct! Player 5: Rib tickler! Spectator 1: Would that be a ball that hits the batsman in the midriff? Player 5: Well done! You see how easy our jargon is? Player 6: Sawn off! (All Players gasp in anger and two Umpires stand up defiantly, with arms crossed) Umpire 1: Our word is what goes! Umpire 2: Nobody should argue with that! Umpire 1: If we say a player is dismissed Umpire 2: That’s an end to it! Spectator 2: But what if you get it wrong? (Umpires 1 and 2 gasp in horror) Umpires 1 & 2: (Together) We never get it wrong! (Players continue to glare at two Umpires as they sit down) Narrator: (Coughing) Moving on! Player 7: Sitter! Spectator 3: Ooh. You never want to drop one of those! The shame of missing an easy catch! Player 7: (Shaking head) Indeed. Player 8: Skier! Another ball you really don’t want to miss! These are a miss hit, go up in the sky Narrator: And I can only imagine the embarrassment of having all that time and then missing the catch! (Players all clutch their heads)

The Pied Piper of Hamelin Class Play or Assembly This script, based on the poem by Robert Browning, has a cast of 30 and duration of around 20 minutes. It has a very welcome ‘twist’ of the tail (thinking rats, here) which will warm the hearts of everyone, especially animal-lovers. As one of the lines clearly states ‘No animals were harmed during the production of this play!’ Sample Text: Mayor: They fought the dogs and killed the cats, And bit the babies in the cradles, Councillor 1: And ate the cheeses out of the vats, And licked the soup from the cooks’ own ladles, Councillor 2: Split open the kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men’s Sunday hats, Councillor 3: And even spoiled the women’s chats, By drowning their speaking, Mayor: With shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and flats. (Everyone turns to the rats to see their reaction. Rats all stand with arms crossed, looking furious – and then all suddenly burst out laughing) Mayor: What’s so funny? Councillor 1: Yeah! Councillor 2: I wouldn’t be laughing Councillor 3: If I were in your shoes! Rat 1: (Shaking his head) Where do you get all this stuff? Rat 2: We weren’t the guilty ones! Rat 3: OK so we might have nibbled at the odd piece of cheese Rat 4: And maybe the odd sip of soup. Rat 5: But fought with dogs? Rat 6: Killed cats? Rat 7: Bitten babies? Rat 8: Drowned ladies speaking with shrieking and squeaking? Rat 1: Are you serious? Rat 2: Do we look like we could take on cats and dogs? Rat 3: Or babies! Have you heard one screaming recently? (All rats cover their ears) Rat 4: Now that is a noise to deafen even the chattiest of ladies! Rat 5: You paint a totally false picture of us rats. Narrator: But you do come with something of a reputation! Rat 6: Oh, you mean that Bubonic Plague thing? Narrator: Well, yes. That did wipe out a rather large percentage of the human race! Mayor: (Triumphantly) There you go! Rat 7: But it taught you lot to keep cleaner afterwards! Rat 8: Clear up your own rubbish! Rat 1: Shame they didn’t clear out some of the human variety! Mayor: (Exploding) Pardon! Narrator: (To Mayor) It has to be said, your townsfolk didn’t seem to think very highly of you! Pied Piper: And with good reason! Let me pick up the story here. (Narrator gestures for everyone else to return to their seats) Pied Piper: You see, I’d heard that the town of Hamelin wanted to be rid of their rats! (All rats jump up in indignation) Pied Piper: (To rats) Sit down, gentlemen, please. I have other ‘rats’, if you’ll pardon the expression, to deal with! (Pointing to Mayor and Councillors) This lot! Other poems that writer Sue Russell has turned into plays have been: The Listeners, The Highwayman, Smugglers’ Song and If – all available off TES.

Ocean Assembly including The Little Mermaid This class play was originally written for Key Stage I but has a lot of additional material – FREE set of 5 Sea Life Quizzes, 350 questions and answers – that could easily be added to raise the level to Key Stage 2. As an outline of The Little Mermaid story is included, this script falls within both the science and literature sections of the curriculum (as well as between two key stages – sorry, a little difficult to place!) If the original story of the Little Mermaid threatens to leave you with tears in your eyes, the jokes of the supporting cast (Cranky Crab, Daft Dolphin, Cod Father just to mention a few) will soon cheer you up … or maybe reduce you to further tears! Sample Text: (All Sea Creatures stand up and speak to The Little Mermaid in turn) Cranky Crab: Why did you turn your back on the ocean? Timid Turtle: How could you leave us? Daft Dolphin: Why go to the land Clown Fish: When you had all that sea to play in? Cod Father: Foolish girl! Angel Fish: You should have kept your tail Jiggly Jellyfish: Fancy giving it up Scary Shark: For what? A human being? Swishing Swordfish: A life on land? Old Octopus: Losing your family Saucy Stingray: Your friends Lazy Lobster: Your everything! Blue Whale: Why? Barmy Barnacle: What were you thinking? Weary Walrus: I don’t understand Perky Penguin: You gave up so much Deep Sea Fish 1 – Angler fish: And for what? Deep Sea Fish 2 – Hatchet fish: Yes, tell us! Deep Sea Fish 3 – Lantern fish: For what?

Evolution Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 (easily adjustable) Duration: Around 20 minutes without the inclusion of music suggestions. This script has ‘serious factual content’ including a timeline from the beginning of time to the present, but it has plenty of humour including a seriously bad set of jokes at the end! This assembly or class play is based on the Evolution and Inheritance unit of study and has the following coverage: How fossils record changes that living things undergo over millions of years Shared characteristics of parents and offspring Adaptation and evolution of animals and plants in order to survive in different habitats/how characteristics are acquired rather than inherited/natural selection How creatures change over long periods of time Sample Text: (Enter Giant Tortoise slowly) Narrator: (Sarcastically) In your own time! Giant Tortoise: Hey! No need to rush! And it’s not like I have any predators to run from. Narrator: Just as well! Have you had far to come? Giant Tortoise: I live on the Galapagos islands, off the South American coast. Narrator: Whoa! That’s a long way! Giant Tortoise: Not as far as Mr Darwin travelled on his five-year trip! Narrator: So, you met the great man? (Enter Finch) Finch: We certainly did! Took some of us home with him! (Enter Darwin) Darwin: (To Giant Tortoise and Finch) You got me thinking about (To Giant Tortoise) Different patterned shells (To Finch) Different shaped beaks. You see, these creatures were different on each island suggesting they had adapted to their immediate environment. Giant Tortoise & Finch: (Together) Fascinating! (Exit Giant Tortoise & Finch) Narrator: Shall we look at some other examples? Darwin: (Enthusiastically) Certainly! Music 3 Parade of the Charioteers (Enter Stag and Peacock, both strutting proudly across stage) Stag: Look at my fine antlers! (Looks at audience) Anyone want to take me on? Peacock: Huh! No need for any violence! Just look at my magnificent display (opens tail to full effect). Who could not be impressed with me? Narrator: (Thoughtfully) Hmm. They are rather winning features Stag: It’s called ‘survival of the fittest’! Peacock: You’ve gotta have what it takes you know!

Circus Assembly for Key Stage One Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Role of Narrator taken by Class Teacher. Duration: 10 - 15 minutes This script is suitable for both upper and lower Key Stage I. Whereas the first half is on the history of circuses, there are lots of jokes to cheer up our Sad Clown for younger children in the second half - plus ample opportunities for ‘the performance of a lifetime’! This script is a kind of template - it can be used for any size class and be expanded to any length of time. Oh, and did I mention Health and Safety?! Sample Text: Fire breather: Look at what fire breathers do! (Fire breather breathes out fire) (Everyone gasps and applauds; Narrator rushes on with fire extinguisher) Narrator: Hey! Health and safety! Health and safety! Stop this now! Sword swallower: And then there’s my act (holding up sword) Narrator: (Intervening quickly) I have no idea what you intend doing with that sword – but not here, not now! Sword swallower: But I was only going to swallow it (pauses) like this! Narrator: (Shrieking) Stop now! That’s way too dangerous! (Whole cast groans) Sad Clown: You see? Always some health and safety spoilsport around these days to ruin our fun! (Circus juggler walks up and down, juggling) Narrator: Now, that’s more like it! Plenty of skill, no danger! (Stilt walker walks up and down) Narrator: (Applauding) Bravo! (Contortionist and ‘Strong man’ perform, Narrator watching anxiously) (Everyone gasps and applauds; Narrator rushes on with First Aid Kit) Narrator: This really won’t do! What have I said about health and safety? (Lion roars loudly)

Pet Care Assembly for Key Stage I This script is a totally moveable feast! The cast consists of Narrator (Class Teacher) plus 30 pets - the number and type of pets can, of course, be changed to match any class requirement. Although it is full of humorous moments, the message behind it is a serious one - that of taking the business of pet care itself seriously. The length of this performance is around 10 - 15 minutes *plus - allowing for ‘parade’ and ‘additions’ from children themselves i.e. information about their particular pets. It could potentially be double this length depending on how much additional information and suggested poetry is included. Great fun. Would love to see this performed! Sample Text: Narrator: You see, pets do take a lot of looking after. They are a big responsibility! (Pauses) What do you think is the most important part of looking after a pet? Child 4: Making it happy? Narrator: Correct! Child 5: And healthy! Narrator: Well done! So, you have to do a lot of homework before you even choose a pet. Child 6: Sounds like being at school! Child 7: Having a pet is meant to be fun! Narrator: But it’s no fun for your pet if it’s not looked after properly. Take that Great Dane, for example. (‘Great Dane’ stands up) Child 8: He’d take a lot of feeding! Narrator: Correct! Big dogs like big meals! But that’s not all! Child 9: He’ll need a lot of exercise! Child 10: Long walks! Narrator: Two or three times a day! He won’t want to be left inside by himself all day! (Great Dane shakes his head in agreement and sits down) Narrator: Animals have needs, just like us! And we need to respect their needs! Maybe someone could share with us, how they look after their pet? Child 11: I have two guinea pigs called Bill and Ben! Narrator: Two guinea pigs? Child 11: Yes, they like company! Narrator: And where do you keep them? Child 11: In a hutch with a nice grassy run. They also have cardboard boxes and pipes to hide in if they get frightened.

St. George and The Dragon Assembly - Key Stage One Slightly alternative version, this one, with just one knight in shining armour amongst 14 pairs of princesses and dragons! You could say, speed dating with a difference! Whatever way you look at it, the outcome is very different from the usual version of the story. The cast is adaptable to any size class - just adjust the number of princesses and dragons! Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes (Reading time just 5 minutes but this does not allow for music suggestions and ‘parade’). Sample Text: Princess 1: (Interrupting whilst preening herself) I’m the beautiful princess! St. George: (Looking unimpressed) Oh, really? Princess 1: (Stamping her foot angrily) Yes, really! (To St. George) And who are you? St. George: St. George, since you ask! Princess 1: (Shrieking) No! There must be some mistake! Narrator: Sorry? What do you mean? Princess 1: Well, look at him! He’s meant to be handsome! St. George: And you’re meant to be?(pauses) … what was it? Oh yes, beautiful? (St. George and Princess 1 stand glaring at each other) Narrator: Now! Now! This will never do! As hero and heroine, you are meant to be in love! Princess 1: No way! St. George: Not likely! Narrator: (Clutching head and holding up notes) Oh for goodness sake! How am I going to make this work? St. George: Start with the dragon! (Aside to audience, pointing at Princess 1) And I don’t mean her!

Miracles of Jesus Assembly and/or Guided Reading Scripts This assembly can be used as a class play (for performance) or as a set of guided reading scripts within the classroom – there are a set of questions for class discussion included in the Production Notes. The five plays within this assembly are: Turning Water into Wine Feeding the Five Thousand Walking on Water The Raising of Lazarus from the Dead Healing Miracles including Healing the Man Born Blind Cast of 30 - Narrator plus Student, with cast of 5 for the first 4 plays and then cast of 8 for the fifth. Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes not including hymns Sample Text: Music 1 Love Divine All Loves Excelling hymn (Cast files into hall, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience; Narrator and Student standing to one side) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Cast: (Together) Miracles! Narrator: The miracles of Cast: (Together) Jesus! Student: Wow! This should be amazing! I’ve never seen miracles performed live before! Narrator: And I wouldn’t count on seeing any here today! Student: (Protesting) But Narrator: (Interrupting) But nothing! Jesus never intended his work to be seen as magic! He was not there to entertain but to teach. Student: (Stifling a yawn) If you say so! Narrator: I most certainly do! So, if you don’t mind, we’ll get going with the very first miracle Jesus performed at that Wedding in Cana. Music 2 Hymn – Lord at Cana’s Wedding Feast Play 1 Water into Wine Miracle (Enter Jesus, bride, groom, servant 1 & 2) Jesus: Was ever there a happier occasion than a wedding? (Bride and groom talking together in worried tones) Bride: What are we to do? Groom: This is a disaster! Jesus: But wait? What is the matter with our happy couple? Servant 1: Have you not heard? Servant 2: The wine has run out!

The Clothes We Wear Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes Key Stage I This class play or assembly has a look at our normal wardrobes - for summer and winter clothing plus a dip into the world of fashion. In the case of the latter, one rather important lesson delivered via the mini play within this script - on The Emperor’s New Clothes - is ‘Beware personal vanity’ - it can get you into all sorts of trouble! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down (Class Teacher as Narrator) Duration - from around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions and ‘fashion show’ - these could easily double the performance! KS II Scripts on Fashion/Emperor’s New Clothes also available (see below) Sample Text: Music 2 You’re so Vain – Carly Simon (Enter Fashion Designer, strutting up and down, like a model on a catwalk) Narrator: (Indignantly) Excuse me! But would you mind explaining who you are? Fashion Designer: Certainly! I am here as a special guest today. You see, as a fashion designer I know everything about clothes! Narrator: Oh really? (To audience) And rather less about good manners! Fashion Designer: Well, I really didn’t think I’d need an invite! I thought you’d be delighted to see me! (Narrator ushers Fashion Designer back to his/her seat) Narrator: Well, of course. Here. Take a seat and then maybe we can catch up later! (Consulting notes) Now. Where were we? Ah yes, let’s take a look at some of these clothes! Music 3 Summer Holidays – Cliff Richards (Enter Summer Clothes Children, 1 – 6) Narrator: (To Summer 1 & 2) Wow! I can see you’re all ready for the beach! Summer 1: We certainly are! (Pointing to each article of clothing) I’m wearing a sundress, flip flops, and these glasses and hat to protect me against the sun! Sample Text from ‘mini play’ - The Emperor’s New Clothes: (Two scoundrels set up their looms) Narrator: And so, all they had to do was take the money! They didn’t have to sew a stitch! Scoundrel 2: That’s right. Just tell that emperor what he wanted to hear Narrator: That he looked gorgeous? (Both scoundrels nod) Scoundrel 1: And what did that make us? Scoundrel 2: Rich!

Fashion Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes The story of The Emperor’s New Clothes provides the bulk of the text - with a minimum cast of 10; cast numbers are made up to 30 by the addition of numerous fashion models, plus ‘sparring’ fashion designer and narrator! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - reading of text around 15 minutes but this does not include music or performances - both of which can be increased to effectively double the length of the play. Sample Text (1): Music 1 – You’re So Vain – Carly Simon (Whole cast files in, seating themselves in order, along two rows of fifteen, facing the audience, Narrator standing at the side throughout) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Fashion! Music 2 – Fashion – David Bowie (Line of fashion models walk up and down ‘the catwalk’ in front of the audience) Narrator: (Applauding as models return to their places) Very good! Bravo! (To audience) But seriously! Did you see the size of those heels? I mean, how on earth do they manage to walk on such things? Impractical or what? (Enter Fashion Designer) Fashion Designer: (Sniffing his disapproval) Oh! Hasn’t anyone told you? It’s about how you look on that catwalk. Narrator: (Angrily) Even if it cripples you? Fashion Designer: Oh darling! Aren’t we being just a tad overdramatic? Narrator: (Huffily) No, not really! I wouldn’t be able to move in those heels! (Fashion Designer pointedly looks Narrator up and down) Fashion Designer: No, I don’t suppose you would! (Aside to audience) No great loss to the fashion world, right? Sample Text (2) - from The Emperor’s New Clothes Narrator: Once upon a time there lived an emperor who was very fond of his clothes. (Enter Emperor and two courtiers) Emperor: (Twirling on the spot) So, what do you think of my outfit today? Courtier 1: (Gushing) Magnificent! Courtier 2: (Even more gushing) Fantastic! Emperor: (Preening himself) Oh really! Flattery will get you nowhere! Courtier 1: (Aside) Wanna bet? Courtier 2: We wouldn’t get far without it! Emperor: What was that? Commenting on the quality of this wonderful fabric, no doubt? Courtier 1: Oh, of course, majesty! Courtier 2: The finest in the land, to be sure! Emperor: I rather think so! (Aside) Best not say how much it cost! More than I pay these two courtiers in a year! (To Courtier 1) A mirror, please! It must be at least a minute since I looked at myself!

International Day of Happiness Assembly A play to make you smile - I hope! Cast of 26 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 20 minutes depending on number of quotations, jokes and music suggestions included. Sample Text: Music 1 What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong (Enter 2 grumpy young girls, alias GYGs, and 2 grumpy young boys, alias GYBs, holding their hands over their heads) GYG1: What a din! GYB1: Somebody turn off that music! GYG2: Yeah! I’ve got a headache! GYB2: Me too! And it’s getting worse by the minute! (Enter Narrator) Narrator: (Coughing) Er excuse me! But hasn’t anybody told you what day it is today? GYG1: Not Monday, I hope. Worst day of the week! GYB1: Nah! Every day of the week’s bad … when you’re having to spend it at school! Narrator: Enough! Where did you lot crawl from? The wrong side of bed perhaps? (Falls about laughing) GYG2: (Sarcastically) Oh! I see we have a joker in our midst! GYB2: (Sarcastically) Oh! What fun! Narrator: Now, come on, you miserable lot! This really won’t do! (Pauses and looks towards rest of cast) Looks like we’re gonna have to tell them what day it is. Let’s hear it … Cast: (Shouting) International Day of Happiness! (Everyone holds up a smiley face) Narrator: And what do we do on International Day of Happiness? We Cast: (Shouting) Smile!

FREE Sport Relief Assembly Every year I do something to raise money for Sport Relief - this generally in my capacity as a zumba instructor (guess what ‘sport’ is there in the script, representing Z on the sports list?!) This script is about as versatile as I can make it - any cast size, any duration, any number of songs/music suggestions. Good luck to everyone ‘doing their thing’ this year. My challenge is going to be ‘sitting still for one minute’ during each of my 15 zumba routines - a challenge beyond anything I have ever undertaken before! If you’ve ever been to a zumba class you’ll know what I mean! Simple message to accompany this script - ENJOY! Sample Text: Child 26: Volleyball Child 27: Weightlifting Child 28: Wrestling Child 29: Zumba! Narrator: (To Child 29) I beg your pardon? Child 29: Zumba! Would you like a demonstration? Music 2 – Zumba number/Latin American music (Child 29 ‘performs’) (Loud applause from cast and audience) Narrator: Magnificent! And I can see that dancing is just as energetic as all those other sports we’ve mentioned! Child 1: (Fanning him/herself) Phew! All that hot Latin American music! Child 2: But let’s not forget our winter sports! Child 3: We have only just had those fantastic Winter Olympics! Child 4: Who could forget Child 5: The skiing Child 6: Bobsleigh Child 7: Figure skating Child 8: Ice hockey Next big sporting event – THE WORLD CUP! Check out assemblies, guided reading scripts and quiz on this wonderful theme! All available off TES and

World Cup 2018 Leavers’ Assembly Duration: around 15 minutes. Cast size suitable for one class - or year group of two or three classes. Who would have thought Mr. Head would have so much trouble in this Leavers' Assembly - disciplining his own staff?! There's Mr. Place - a geography teacher with an unfortunate temper; there's Mrs Sums - with an unfortunate obsession with numbers; there's Mrs Write - with her unfortunate outspokenness ... are you spotting a pattern here? And as for Mr. Force from the science department ... well, let's just say he might have pushed his luck just that little bit too far on this occasion! Anyway, hat's off to Mr. Head as he struggles on. After all, football is just a game, isn't it?! Sample Text Mr. Head: Ah! Mrs Write, our Literacy expert! Mrs Write: (Enunciating every word slowly and perfectly) Good morning, Mr. Head. Good Morning, children! Students: Good morning, Mrs Write! Mrs Write: Before we go any further, I do feel it is important that our children can tell the difference between fact and fantasy! Mr. Head: Er, don't you mean facts and opinions? Mrs Write: (Impatiently) Just so! Though some of my students seem to be indulging in some very worrying fantasies at the moment. Student 1: But you're always telling us to use our imaginations, Miss! Mrs Write: ‘Tis true. But we also need to keep a certain hold on reality. And, to put it bluntly .... (pausing) Mr. Head: (Impatiently) Yes, Mrs Write. We haven't got all day! Mrs Write: Well, as long as you can assure me that I won't upset anyone in speaking my mind? Mr. Head: It's never stopped you in the past! Mrs Write: (Cagily) Well, it's about England's chances of winning the World Cup! Mr. Head: Ah! (Pauses) Now I see where you're coming from. Could I suggest you proceed with extreme caution? With extreme tact, even? Mrs Write: Oh don't you worry! You're looking at somebody who can not only write to the highest standard but is also always right in everything she says .. Mr. Head: (Aside) And so modest with it! Mrs Write: Let me just tell anyone who is nursing any illusions about England winning Mr. Head: (Anxiously) I think I mentioned tact, Mrs Write? Mrs Write: Well .... (takes a deep breath and then blurts out) England doesn't stand the faintest chance of winning the World Cup! (Mr. Head covers his head in despair, as all students rise to their feet in uproar) Mrs Write: You see what I mean? Somebody had to tell them! They shouldn't be allowed to continue believing in this fantasy! Mr. Head: (In exasperation) Mrs Write! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Like a bull in a china shop'?